“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ― Lao Tzu

When I decided to go into e-commerce last year, one of the first motivational talks I heard was by a bunch of business and entrepreneurial gurus. There are many who speak on this subject, and each has their take. Gary Vaynerchuk and Mel Robbins were in this particular video, and their snippets of inspiration spurn me on again and again when I have days during which things are less than desirable or things are not going my way.

 

Many of us will not pursue our dreams because we are worried about what others will say. Sound familiar? Are you with me on this? Have you heard this or do you hear the voices of family and friends that keep you down? Do they sound like they’re looking out for you through discouragement when they are really just trying to keep you right there with them? What they will think? What if they don’t approve? Will they support me? Will they will tell us “I told you so” when I have some failures?

 

Just as an example, I remember many years ago when I was starting a consultation practice to support attorneys, I confided in a peer who I thought was my friend and professional ally. I remember this conversation like it was yesterday. She denigrated the idea, saying that there was “no way” an attorney would hire a nurse (I was a nurse at the time) for the work that I was proposing to do for them. I felt a little sucker-punched but now understand that going out on a limb to do something unique and different that can provide great value to a group of people can be incredibly scary for the doubters.

 

But you see how they can rob your mojo? Despite the fact that their words and reactions are merely projections on you, heed them with caution because they can be infective and poisonous. 

 

One way that I have learned to overcome this is to avoid sharing plans about any ventures until they are solidified and launched. I think the reactions or responses and nonsupport be crippling, paralyzing you in the progress of your creative ideas, dreams, and ambitions. Choose your confidantes cautiously and be prepared for any responses. Don’t value others’ opinions too much as they are — if they’re negative — often based in insecurity and fear, and if listen and fail to launch, you will forever remain their prisoner.

 

Remember why you want to do this “thing,” design rules that fit you, and then move on.

 

And you don’t owe anyone any explanations. Once you learn and practice that, you will flow through life. Yes, it takes practice. 

 

Another way to overcome any doubt you may have or something that you’ve stopped yourself from doing is to choose something that you have always wanted to do as a project or business or venture. It could be anything like a sport, a trip by yourself, or a business that puts you out there amongst the masses. Then make a specific timeline to get it done and just go do it. This is what I did with my last project. Just going through the motions, AKA specific “action,” of taking all the steps to make it happen finally allowed me to arrive at launch point….and now I am flying. It’s important to tell yourself to take a step back to see the bigger picture but then take a step up and address all the details to get you to the next level.

 

There will always be the toxic few who will try to sprinkle their negativity and thwart your growth and fun. If it is someone significant in your life, you can have a discussion about what support you might need. But carefully insulating yourself from this – growing a thick skin, having boundaries, keeping your plans close to the cuff, recognizing what is getting your attention – will help you get to that next level. Until you learn to moderate your reaction or change your thoughts about such a reaction might be coming from, they will always have the proverbial upper hand.

  

I practice seeing the success, and then once I am “doing it,” I don’t have to care what their opinion is. I am not reckless, but at my age, I feel like I don’t play it safe any longer. I am learning to be okay with where I am right now, but always putting myself out there and putting on some blinders have resulted in results that have paid off. Has it been perfect? No way. But I went through it, and that’s the best experience you can have. Every time you get beyond your fear of starting and actually start, it gets easier for the next time. And this translates into all areas of your life!

 

Just do you. Do it with all your heart. Get the information. Trust your gut. Leave those people lovingly behind. Be like the butterfly who emerges from the cocoon.

 

You choose. Every single day.

 

Day 5 of 30 of blog entries. Please comment constructively….I am learning. Thank you!

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